The more you lead, the more crap you have to deal with: criticism, assholes, rejection and pressure. Organisational change leadership parallels operational leadership when it comes to CRAP. What is CRAP? Criticism, assholes, rejection and pressure.
It is easy to point out where leaders fail and stumble. Often the criticism comes from employees who work a strict 9-to-5 and often don’t contend with the hassles that leaders face. They don’t see the behind-the-scenes work going into navigating tricky personalities. Or the umpteenth thing that has gone wrong and requires adept improvisation.
Who criticises organisational change leaders?
- Those in your team who think they can run things better;
- Stakeholders who ignore your change communications repeatedly… then criticise the directedness or comprehensiveness of your message;
- Leaders who have stepped into their role on your project, and have yet to learn context;
- People who tried to pull apart the mechanisms of your organisational change. Players who try this often take the guise of being confused, and aim to spot inconsistencies;
- Senior stakeholders who think your approach to change leadership is either too soft or too hard.
Let’s not forget those who don’t think the changes that you are leading should have taken place in the first instance. There will be those who criticise you on the matter of how well-led your change is or was.
Are there kernels of truth found in criticism? Yes. It does take a strong ego to identify legitimate concerns and act upon them. It takes mental fortitude to let go of the emotional sting of set criticism too. The higher you go in your organisation the more criticism you might even cop for facets of the change that weren’t directly in your remit.
How do I make peace with criticism?
- The image of a bell curve comes to my mind. Out of 100 people, how many are not going to be delighted with my organisational change? 10 or 15%? More? That’s OK. What constructive action can I take from this criticism?
Some people will treat you with little respect.
As you grow, you will experience all kinds of challenges that test your mettle. From people treating you like a punching bag, to rejection from the person you love. At times, it will feel like everyone is against you. It’s easy to get angry and bitter but what’s important is how we respond to these situations.
As a change leader, a part of my job is to stay calm and centred. Easier said than done, especially during peak periods like go-lives. Sometimes a complicated and protracted round of criticism from a stakeholder gets to me. I am human and see red mist like everyone else when angry. Yet being calm and anticipating storms ahead help me weather those who try to treat me like a punching bag.
Whenever someone treats me badly or rejects me, I always try to understand why they did it. Is this behaviour out of character? Are they under a lot of stress? Did I do something wrong that made them feel that way towards me? Sometimes I am able to find a good reason why they did it and other times I don’t care enough about them or the situation so I let go of it.
It’s important for us not to dwell on these negative things because if we do then we will carry this baggage with us for life and that isn’t going to help anyone! We need to be strong enough mentally so we can move forward. In strength, we have a sense of springiness or lightness of foot. This lightness means we don’t get bogged down by negativity. Observe but don’t get caught up in other people’s behaviour and vibe.
What has helped me not take things personally?
- The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”
- Don Miguel Ruiz
You will get rejected.
Whether it’s an email, in person, on a form, or on a phone call, you will get rejected. You’ll be told that you are wrong. You’ll be told that you didn’t do a good job. You’ll have people think less of your work than you do yourself. This is a part of life for everyone and for all time.
Being rejected is normal — it happens to everyone. From being demoted, fired or rejected from a job application. On an amusing note, observe your average Australian or American Idol contestants — how did many handle rejection?
It hurts because our brains register pain when we have a sense of ostracism. This is especially the case when you are not gelling with others in your project team. It can also be the case when leaders favour those who curry favour and don’t do the heavy lifting within your team. Getting repeated rejections from job applications and sitting on the bench for up to months between contracts? These are other forms of rejection that change leaders have to tolerate.
Every choice has its price.
You can’t expect everyone to like you, and if you try that’s a recipe for disaster. There will always be people who disagree with your choices or don’t like the decisions you make, and that’s OK. You can’t make everyone happy, so why bother trying?
The most important thing is to not let it stop you from doing what needs to be done. If you get paralyzed by fear of what other people may think of your work, then they’ve won without ever having said a word.
How do I cope with rejection?
- The more rejection I have been exposed to, the more comfortable I am with it. Sometimes rejection is a blessing in disguise… as I have often found out on many occasions!
Pressure
Turning up to meetings with imperfect information. Being cross-examined by stakeholders on contentious topics. Having to navigate ambiguity and incredible uncertainty. Taking pains to address “elephants in the room” and other sensitive topics with stakeholders. Never having enough time to truly think through what can go wrong with your change. Feeling the pressure of pressing send, where your communication goes out to several thousand employees. Have you missed any details?
As project go-lives or deadlines approach, waking up at 3 AM and realising a mistake you have made. Or surfacing from an uncomfortable dream about work. Feeling like an imposter, and doing things well outside of your comfort zone. Feeling like you are making things up on the fly. Nagging feelings about underperforming members within your team. More nagging feelings that your high performers might jump ship!
These factors ratchet up the pressure to the point where you have an ongoing sense of discomfort.
How do I cope with the pressure?
- Pressure to me is the “cost of doing business” as an organisational change manager and leader. I now greet the ‘ol 3 am wake-ups around go-live like an old friend. I have gotten used to feeling out of my comfort zone. Over time, being comfortable with discomfort can become exhilarating. Your fitness to undertake complex problem-solving, improvisation and continual adaptation build over time. It’s still not easy but is the road to stronger character.
Is the extra hassle worth it to you?
As we’ve covered, you will have to deal with a lot of crap if you choose to lead. Accepting that is part of the process — because it’s inevitable doesn’t mean it’s easy. But if leadership is important enough to you, if you see tangible benefits from leading and are willing to put in the work, then it could be worth it.
Organisational change leadership requires imagination and flexible conceptual thinking. You need an intimate understanding of both details and the bigger picture. Your leadership requires a dance of interpersonal skills with various personalities. The buck stops with you on topics like organisational communications and capability uplifts. You will have many days and weeks where you feel like you put in far more than what you feel you get.
Some people still might not want to put up with the extra hassle. And that’s fine — it doesn’t make them bad people; they don’t get the same fulfilment from leading as others do. There are many ways to make a difference in the world and find meaning in your life besides being a leader, after all. If that sounds like something you would prefer, then by all means go for it!
What floats my boat about change leadership?
Being of service to thousands of people. I also love being an author or architect of significant change.
Whatever path you choose won’t come without challenges and difficulties, so keep that in mind before making your decision.